Lessons From Esther And Her Cousin (2)

…He asked me, “are you in a relationship?” (you know the answer). Then he went ahead to tell me, “If I were to be in a relationship, I wouldn’t take advise from someone who is not in a relationship.” (this answer has 2 sides. He’s not saying someone who’s not in a relationship cannot advise you, the person can, but there’s little the person can tell especially when they don’t have experience- like the lady writing this. She had no experience! So his counsel to me was justifiable). 

That time too, I was struggling with what name to give the blog. As expected, I was hearing a lot of things (News flash, I’m still going to be a relationship adviser… just not yet). I sat back, thought and prayed about it, then all the ginger died down, I went back to my closet and went to hear God clearly. Now, did I hear God about the relationship stuff? Of course yes! But the issue was, God was giving me in bits things I’m going to be writing on much later, but I was too quick to conclude that it was majorly on relationship, that was why I said I’d still write on it, but not yet. My mentor even gave an example of a guy who was always posting about relationship stuff but his relationship broke off in 6 months. I mean… as in… this time, the advise is coming from someone in a relationship o, and they could still break up. What happened to all the advices he had been posting all these while? How much more me that I don’t have the slightest experience of what a Godly relationship should look like? (note that I said, experience, not knowledge. I had the latter, but not the former). 

HOPE YOU RECOLLECT THAT WE’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ESTHER AND MORDECAI? You know how the Holy Spirit would always have us swerve from the main topic to drop a point. But in the actual sense, we’re still on track. I’m talking about mentorship.

After the example my mentor gave me, I had to have sense, retreat, re-ask, and wait on God for clarity. I have many more examples, but this is the one the Holy Spirit impressed on my heart to share. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t have a mentor to ask, I’d have gone ahead with posting relationship advice, and there’d be no TRC today! That I know for a fact! Thank God for wisdom, thank God for mentors (because I also had a female instructor that I asked back then, and she gave me the same reply). I’d have opened a blog quite alright, but I would have built on a wrong and shaky foundation. Do you remember what Jesus said happened to the house built on the sand in Matt. 7:26-27? That’s what would have happened to me and my blogging journey.

I’ll give another popular example. This time, from the Bible- two examples actually. One is Paul and Timothy. According to research, Timothy was 19 when he became the pastor over a church. Timothy was made pastor at age 19. Thank God he had Paul to guide him. Paul even had to write 2 letters to him. Paul mentioned in 1 Tim. 4:12. 

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." KJV.

He understood that Timothy needed mentoring, and nowhere was it stated that Timothy didn’t submit to Paul’s mentoring. Paul did a good job mentoring the guy. Today, the first and second books of Timothy are very important books in the epistles, such that it is necessary that a believer reads, studies and digests the instructions therein. Aquila and Priscilla also took aside, instructed and taught Apollos when he taught some strange Rhema (Acts 18:24-26).

In the Old Testament, Elijah mentored Elisha, who ended up being two times better than his master. According to research as well, Elisha was older than Elijah. Nevertheless, that didn’t hinder him from receiving from Elijah. He followed the mentoring squarely and refused to be swallowed up by “I’m older than him.” That’s what has hindered some people from receiving, even from their pastors. They’re older than their pastors so they feel they shouldn’t submit to him, because they also feel they’re Mo knowledgeable and wise. Which is not always true (some campus fellowship members are guilty this. To submit to their group head is difficult, because they feel they know better). Just so you'd know, you can never receive something tangible from someone you criticize and do not respect, even when what they're doing is right and commendable.

The question now is, “Who is a mentor?” and “Who is your mentor?”

I’ll give you the story of Debby and Felicia as a foundation. Let’s ride!

 “Where are you off to?” Felicia asked looking up at Debby without raising her head.

 “Didn’t you hear anything I said last night?” Debby questioned, arms akimbo.

Felicia shrugged and made a funny face.

 “It’s funny to you, right? I said a lot of things last night. Which of them did you hear?”

Felicia folded her lower lip, and blinked as many times as she could.

 “So I was literally speaking to the air?” Debby shook her head, picked up her wristwatch, put it on and picked up her small travelling bag.

 “So you’re just going to leave without leaving me an address of where you’re going?”

 “What difference does it make? Whether I tell you or not, you’re not going to pay attention anyways.” Debby replied, with irritation littered all over her words.

 “C’mon, just a little attention I didn’t pay yesterday and you’re already angry.” Debby said, and twitched her nose like she was getting annoyed.

Debby threw her head back a little and stared hard at her housemate, shook her head and sighed, “Would you rather that I give you a list of things I’ve told you and you never heard me? And I wouldn’t just give you a list, I’d give you a book!”

 “You’re keeping a list of my offences?”

 “Who said I’m offended? Thing is, you’ve exceeded the 490 mark Jesus gave for forgiving your neighbour. So all I do now is I don’t bother telling you stuff... In case you haven’t noticed.”

 “Jesus said you should forgive your neighbour 490 times in a day, and I’m pretty sure I don’t offend as much in one day.”

In frustration, Debby hit her forehead with her right palm and replied, “What am I saying, what are you saying? You know what, never mind. When I get back, if you care to know, I’ll tell you where I went.”

 “When someone calls and asks after you, what do I tell them?” Felicia demanded, with no iota of remorse.

 “The truth.”

 “Which is?”

 “That you didn’t pay attention when I was giving you the information.”

Felicia narrowed her brows, and wore a fake frown.

 “Sorry dear, I’m not telling you where I’m going. You’re not asking because you care. You’re asking just so you can have an information to give others when they ask. If you didn’t hear yesterday, you’re not going to hear today.”

Felicia immediately withdrew. She suddenly became calm and seemed lost in thought.

Debby noticed. “What’s wrong?”

 “This feels like promnesia.” She replied absentmindedly. “I feel like I’ve heard this same statement before.”

Debby stared at her, quietly studying her.

 “I think it’s Mummy Denis who said the same thing to me.”

Debby stared at her still waiting for her to spew more words.

Felicia looked up at her and continued, “you know when I was still under her, I felt I knew so much because I was always listening to messages of other men of God, and I felt she wasn’t deep in the scriptures enough. She said since she was my mentor, she had the authority to tell me some things to follow especially when it tallies with the Word of God. She always spoke to me and I wouldn’t listen. One day, I asked her why she stopped giving me instructions and she told me, ‘If you didn’t hear yesterday, you’re not going to hear today.’ "

 “Wait, you’re no longer with Mummy Denis?” Debby asked in shock.

Felicia nodded slowly.

 “So what’s with all the meetings you’ve been attending saying your mentor organized a meeting?”

 “Actually, I always attend special meetings of Apostle Joshua Selman, Bishop Wale Oke and the rest of them.” Felicia replied with a tone of regret.

 “Apostle is everybody’s mentor. So make me understand, please.” Debby was quiet for a couple of meetings before replying.

 “I thought Mummy Denis wasn’t deep in the Word of God enough. I thought I could grow on my own listening to messages of other men of God. I thought I’d do better with them than with her.”

 “One last question. If you’re confused about something, and you need a spiritual counsel, who do you go to?”

Felicia looked up at her, wearing a pity face. Debby understood immediately.

 “Don’t tell me that’s why you’ve been asking me some strange questions for a while, and anytime I ask you why you don’t ask your mentor instead, you say it’s because…”

Felicia sniffed and bit her lower lip, fighting back the tears.

 “How have you been surviving?” Debby asked again.

 “I haven’t been surviving. I feel drained. I feel isolated and lost. Yes, I attend all special programs there is but I know there’s something missing. I feel a void and vacuum that I know only a spiritual person can feel. In a nutshell, I feel like I’m drawing away. I don't know how to differentiate the voice of the Holy Spirit from that of my mind. I've literally been living in confusion as touching a lot of things.” Felicia cried.

*****

From personal experience, without a mentor in your life, I believe you’d feel the same way Felicia feels, and I’d ask you the same question Debby asked her. “How have you been surviving?”

I’m not saying you should make your mentor your Lord and Saviour. I’m saying that no matter how much you think you know, the place of a mentor cannot be joked with. You will have drowned in the ocean of mistakes and error long enough before you get a hold of yourself. As for me, I prayed to God to discover purpose. I did, and forgot some and paid attention to others, especially because I’m more comfortable with those ones. It was my mentor who brought my understanding to it that that particular one I’m neglecting is even the most important of all. I went back to pray again and discovered she was right. If I didn’t have her to speak to me, I would have continued my journey, just fulfilling the crumbs out of the big thing God would have me do. No one is saying you should have a hundred of them. Maximum for me is 2. I have a female mentor and a spiritual father. They’ve been the second best thing that happened to me in my Christian journey after receiving the life of Christ and the Holy Spirit.

I kid you not, I’d have fallen into strong mistakes that’d have taken many years to rectify if I didn’t have these people in my life. I have instructors, they’re not so numerous but they’re quite the number. I’ve had my spiritual father and since I can remember and many instructors, but God just sent me another mentor again, and frankly, I’m glad. I’m elated.

Who is your mentor? If it’s Kathryn Kulman, Benny Hinn or Apostle Selman you want to mention, don’t just bother. The question is, “Do they know you? Can they call you? If anything comes up that you need urgent help with, can you contact them and they’ll come through for you? Let’s agree you have their contact. Do they have yours? If they do, do they see you as a mentee?” Think about it.

To be continued…