I AM A BELIEVER

             I did not have that dramatic experience of accepting the life of Christ. More so, I do not remember when I did it, half a dozen times, maybe. I was always going to the altar because I didn’t want to go to hell. I remember the first time I went to the altar, I wanted to get a better view of the Pastor and also the package that new converts get, a souvenir bag with tracts and Christian materials of course but I have always eyed that bag. Unfortunately, it didn’t get to me. I went out a couple of times more for altar call, but one was different, I cannot really say when nor do I recollect what happened. I didn’t feel the peace that people often talked about. I’m not disputing that some people actually feel it, but I wasn’t one of them. If I was, I’d recall. How then did I know I had received the life of Christ?

I was full of the Holy Spirit! I spoke in tongues and heard a dozen things from the Lord. There on that tiled floor, I was slain. I should be 16/17 then. But I knew I started a forever walk with God that day. No, it wasn’t on one of those occasions I went for altar call, it was a vigil I attended. Up until then, I couldn’t boldly tell that I was born again. That beautiful night, I spoke with tongues, you know those new converts one or two syllable tongues. It felt awkward and weird at first but I couldn’t bring myself to stop. There and then, the Lord spoke to me. Do I remember what things He said to me? No! Because I didn’t think to write them down later.

But I noticed after then, I always wanted to pray. I was always looked forward to the next time I’d have a fellowship with God. I looked forward to the times I’d pray with friends. I wanted to be in the gathering of believers. Sometimes I’d go to a secluded place to pray or to where people were praying just to give me that vibe in case my body doesn’t want to. I just wanted God. And this is not something peculiar to an unbeliever. I wanted to study my Bible and forget other things. I always asked my mentor questions and I listened to messages. God was definitely sweet to me, like ice-cream is to a toddler. I didn’t think to preach to any other person. I thought it was just for Evangelists and Pastors alone and another reason is that, I was shy. 5 years later, I preached to someone and the joy I felt from within still lingers in my heart.

I just wanted to do what someone who loves God does. As I attended meetings, I made sure to put to practice things I’ve been taught. But there was something else. I wanted to be on the altar talking and preaching. The Lord then told me that the “Pulpit is not for everyone”. So I stayed where I was and received from men and women of God, whether young or old, but I didn’t cease to covet their anointing. I coveted the supernatural as well. I wanted to go all out for God. I had someone sent from the Lord to guide me- a mentor. My mentor has been and is still a blessing to me.

Yes, there were times I felt left alone, lifeless and Holy Spiritless (If there’s anything like that). But I had the bible to bring me back. I had believing friends who slapped senses back into my head. I had my mentor to hold me hands and guide me back to the path of Christ. I made sure I don’t stray away often. And when I do, My Father (God) always drags me back. I might have taken a million steps away from Him, but with just one step, He brings me back. God is still God, but seeing Him more as a Father helps me with my communication with Him.

At some point, I didn’t pray every day, I didn’t study my Bible every day like before. I felt it was stressful. Days would pass before I realized I hadn’t engaged in spiritual exercises. Really, this is the core for our living, for God. The most important things for us asides career and others. The Bible says we should seek first the Kingdom of God (Matt 6:33). I was pursuing other things. The same Bible says in Matt 16:26 that “What shall it profit a man if he gains he whole world and lose His own soul?” What did I do then? I was finding it difficult to be consistent with these things daily and it needful and necessary that they be done daily. So I drew a timetable… where every day, I ticked whether I had prayed or studied my Bible or did a spiritual exercise and other stuff I do with my day.

It was rough at the beginning because I still wasn't consistent. But as I continued, it became a salient and the important thing I do with my day. I also discovered I was using my time for something else. I was always on social media and watching movies, but I complained I didn’t have the time and I was very busy. But now, the prayer and Bible study boxes are always marked n my timetable. There are other things I do with my time like listening to messages, but the first two options are not to be negotiated. Before you give me the credit, I got the inspiration from The Holy Spirit. Since then, I have been more serious than ever.

At first, it really wasn’t easy following my schedule, but I did every day. I’ve been doing that for more than 9 months now and it helped me make progress knowing fully well that I am accountable to my calendar. Moments I don’t feel like, the minute I remember I don’t want to have a minus in my timetable because I didn’t do something, I’d just go ahead and do it. It might not be a good reason for being serious with my spiritual life, but at least, it helps me be in constant communication with God. This is not all, but because of these reasons, I can beat my chest boldly and say, “MY NAME IS DORCAS IYANUOLUWA OKEOWO, AND I AM A BELIEVRER!”